Yahoo Google Mcdonalds and the Apocalypse
Filed Under (Random!, What fresh hell is this) by Monkee on 24-04-2008
Am I a theologian?
A Bible scholar?
No. What I am is thinker and a scripture-aficionado. An old testament enthusiast if you will.
As I stood in Macdonald’s (kindly explaining that their motto of “have it your way” should include cooking my burger with the fries already on it) the mystery of the final battle between good and evil became clear to me. The simp in the paper hat told me “Thats Burger King’s motto” and asked why I wasn’t wearing pants or shoes in 20 degree weather. I told him it was neither here nor there and I will take my business elsewhere, good day sir.
I said good day!
As I left I saw a young lady open her laptop and a Google search box popped up. Nothing out of the ordinary, I use Google as well. I used to use yahoo. What made me switch? Usually these questions are drummed out of my head by new questions that replace them like “What is the meaning of life” , “what really lead to my hatred of Canadians” or “where, indeed, is the beef” ?
I thought about all these questions, did hours of research and ate a box of steak-ums. This is what I found and I would like you to draw your own conclusions.
1- Yahoo is a pronunciation of the name of God. Yawee, Yahu or Yawoo. I have heard it pronounced in all of these ways.
2- Google starts with a G. The seventh letter of the alphabet. The Jewish alphabet has only 25 letters that we have in the English alphabet thereby making G the sixth letter in their alphabet. As in 666.
3- If you a eat a box of steak-ums in one sitting you will get a tape-worm.
4- Naming said tapeworm Mr. Bubbles in no way lessens the harm that the tapeworm might do.
5-Many Bible scholars have postulated that the anti-christ might be a thing not a person as previously thought.  A decever that is very pervasive. Yes, some have thought that the internet might be that anti-christ.
So, dear reader, I ask you is the internet the Armageddon that the Bible foretells?
Now before you get all crazy and start jumping around like a monkey yelling that I know nothing and that Armageddon is a place not an idea and Armageddon is actually a Greek word for hill or mountain (Har) that overlooks the valley of Meggedo west of the Jordan river stop and realize that most of the Bible stories that we all know are parables. Do not get hung up on the details and forgo the deeper meaning.
With that said, I know that most of my posts are very light hearted and silly.I wish to stir the pot a bit, I wish to have civil discourse with you all. Basically I want you to participate. I find your comments lively and though full. I know that religion is a heated topic but indulge me. If this topic is too tame for some let me leave you with this.
Everyone but protestants are heretics.
The earth is only 12,000 years old.
Mormonism is totally made up by horny old men that want to sleep with many women and say “God told me it was OK”.
From now on dinosaurs will be know as Jesus horses.
Thank you for listening,
Discuss
You are, of course, right about everything. Is the earth 12,000 already? Time flies!
While the dinosaurs were Jesus’s horses, it is important to remember that dinosaurs were not only based on land. There were also huge dino-fish so big that, with a few loaves, two dino-fish could feed thousands. If one of those dino-fish was just beneath the surface of the water, one could stand upon and seem to walk right across the water.
But anyway, the internet is, indeed, satan. You forgot to mention that the primary source of information for people today is Wikka-pedia. If that’s not satan at work, I don’t know what is.
Love the site!
when can we get back to discussing love making? freak me baby
I dont know that I ever discussed that.
It doesn’t really matter because religious people of any description are incorrect in any opinion they have. Unless they’re agnostic. Then they’re unsure whether they’re correct (atheist) or incorrect (religious).