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The mating rituals of star wars geeks

Filed Under (Relationships and sexy time) by Monkee on 21-09-2008

In my long search to entertain America (mostly the 7 readers here, Hi mom) I have devised a first date ritual that may not only impress the ladies but bewilder and confuse them at the same time. I don’t know why I think that ladies want to be bewildered but a true Star Wars chick cant help but be impressed by this(my Monte Python idea went down in flames).

The rules are very simple, you can only respond to here by using lines from Star Wars(from the 80’s, the new ones are awful but use what you can).

Her-  Thank you for taking me to a nice restaurant I’m a bit upset that you are late.

You-  I can feel your anger… it gives you focus, it makes you stronger!

Her- I fear that I don’t get your meaning but thank you for acknowledging that.

You- Fear is the path to the Dark Side. Fear leads to anger; anger leads to hate; hate leads to suffering.

Her- OK, but I’m not really angry.

You- Anger, fear, aggression… the dark side are they. Once you start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny.

Her- Ok then. This is a nice place hope its not too spendy.

You- If money is all you love, then that’s what you’ll receive.

Her- Again not what I was saying, I just was it was a nice place. Err hmm……  You look nice!

You- When 900 years you reach, look as good, you will not.

Her-  So umm, what are your thought about the election?

You- All who gain power are afraid to lose it, even the Jedi.

Her - I guess that’s true, so you like Star Wars I take it.Would you like to be a Jedi or something?

You- The circle is now complete. When I left you I was but the learner, now I am the master.

Her- Now you’re just freaking me out, I have to go.

You- I think my eyes are getting better. Instead of a big dark blur, I see a big light blur. Look, Your Worshipfulness, let’s get one thing straight! I take orders from one person! Me!

From there it usually devolves into a shouting match and some state authorities are called. If all else fails tell her that you can make the kessel run in three parsecs.

If you find the right girl this tactic is magic, magic I say.

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Comments:

14 Responses to “The mating rituals of star wars geeks”

1. veronicaromm on 28 May 2008 at 3:33 pm #
   
   

   So funny and clever, the force is with you.
2. Monkee on 28 May 2008 at 3:40 pm #
   
   

   Clere but it never works
3. Leo on 28 May 2008 at 4:22 pm #
   
   

   Preface all of the above with “I have a bad feeling about this…”
4. John on 28 May 2008 at 4:51 pm #
   
   

   I try to incorporate this with the Sinanju style sex. Works for me, better than Japanese pillow talk.
5. Monkee on 28 May 2008 at 4:59 pm #
   
   

   @leo ,

   “thats what she said”
6. azman hashim on 28 May 2008 at 8:54 pm #
   
   

   nice blog and funny …huhuhu
7. Mr. Sustainable on 29 May 2008 at 4:34 am #
   
   

   You’re gonna pay for the all the Jedi you killed today, Dooku!
8. SueM on 29 May 2008 at 9:58 am #
   
   

   Ah, second gereation SWers….You’r so young! Is this a real proposal? Too cool. Can you guess my age…Argh! And we never had the cool toys like the second time around!
9. Libby on 2 Jun 2008 at 11:12 am #
   
   

   The odds of you scoring with that chick are 3765-1.
10. Monkee on 2 Jun 2008 at 11:15 am #
    
    

    Ya, but look as I have great hair. Would that help?
11. Chelle on 2 Jun 2008 at 2:09 pm #
    
    

    It could be magic…would definitely be a good test all right to weed out your dates
12. Loy Williams on 21 Sep 2008 at 3:10 pm #
    
    

    Hey! That’s the exact conversation I had with my ex on our first date! Was I on “Nerd Kingdom?”
13. LJP on 8 Oct 2008 at 3:58 pm #
    
    

    Never tell me the odds!
14. Monkee on 8 Oct 2008 at 5:28 pm #
    
    

    Ha!