Sorry that I kicked you in balls
Filed Under (Random!) by Monkee on 05-10-2008
Brandon! Brandon! Brandon, come here!
That is what I heard for five minutes while we were in the Quicky Mart. Your 3 year old was running all over and knocking stuff down while you and your Whiskey Tango (white trash) wife were getting your post methadone clinic Big Gulps. You would yell every 30 seconds “Brandon come here” like an hillbilly fog horn. I wanted to yell “turn your fat jowls and watch your crotch fruit, yelling Brandon every thirty seconds does not make up for your lack of parenting “. I chose not to as I just wanted out of there.
I paid and left and I guess you paid as well as you came out of the store as I was unlocking my car. Brandon came running out of the door and straight towards the open traffic. At 2 foot tall he would run right by me and not be seen by the oncoming car. I glanced at you hoping to see a look of horror as you realized the impending impact but no, you were busy playing with a coupon for Skoal Bandits. I grabbed the kid with my free hand and jerked him back from running in front of the car and then walked him over to you for what I thought would be a hero’s welcome.
Not so much.
You just squared off and said that I should get my hands off of your son. I asked you if you were sure he was your son because your wife looks like a real goer, know what I mean? Say no more. Nudge nudge, wink wink.
I have since found out that Monty Python references seem to make white trash confused and upset and want to fight.
You raised your fists, started to say something and I kicked you square in the nuts. I’m not a fighter, I’m not a lover either but what I am is a cheap bastard and I didn’t want to spill the soda in my right hand. So in retrospect I am sorry I kicked you in the balls but I felt threatened and reacted.
I hope Brandon is ok and you are feeling better.
The soda was delicious.
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there should be more people like you out there good job
Although the white letters on the black background make my head ache, your title certainly caught me eye. So I stayed to read your post. And I’m glad I did! Kudos to you!!
Thank you for the kind words!
While I’m glad that you saved the little kid, I still can’t help feeling that you interfered with natural selection, but I think you took the dad out of the gene pool anyways. Well done.
lol, Kids need a roll model.
well its not cool, but it got the job done
You know, I see people like this all the time. It happens in grocery stores, department stores, quickie marts etc. It seems that parents now a days don’t give a rats ass about their children and pay more attention to what they would rather have. There should definitely be more people out there like you! Good Job!!
Well done! The world needs more people like you
Lol.
hahaha good job dude!
making the world a better place, one flattened crotch at a time.
My superhero name is the Crotch Kicker
That’s awesome. I would definitely do something similar. I train in Jiu Jitsu, so it would have been a choke, but still, just as cool.
A kick in the nuts is better than a trip to the doctor. Good call!
Man do you rock! You know what they say “no good deed……”
I always said the world would be a brighter place with more Monty Python references around. Hats off to your efforts.
I agree an TY
Well, yah, good job on saving the kid - seriously.
How interesting that you summarily dismiss a person because they act in a way that irritates you. Unfortunate that prejudice doesn’t die… it just changes forms. If this were the 50’s you would be writing this about “them damn niggers” stop being what you ideologically hate….
So you called his wife a whore because you don’t like his parenting skills? You sound like a bigot
Similar experience with a couple yuppies and their high maintenance kid: Bemjamin!
We were on vacation and took a day tour these ppl were on. Crap!
Benjamin this and Benjamin that. Screaming the kids name won’t get results. Christ! You ppl drove us all F***’in nuts.
Bless you mister, for doing what I wanted to.
@Jeremy and Not- you are morons, look up the definition of bigot. Its a sad state of affairs when you have no salient point so you resort to calling me a big poopy head. I am anxiously awaiting your reply, I am sure it will contain the phrase ” sticks and stones….”.
well played good sir!
Well done that man! That’s just what I would have done too.
Damn, I laughed so hard I spit Copenhagen all over the front of my Ernhardt shirt and nearly spilt my Pabst.
I find your white on black extremely difficult to read. It certainly gives me a headache.
Maybe you just are having a hard time reading?
Do newspapers scare you, they have been around for a few hundred years.
Whiskey Tangos don’t know when their own assets are being saved by others.
There’s always the decrease in Food Stamps he would have felt if you didn’t intervene. Chances are he wouldn’t have been able to put that many thoughts together to paint a picture.
Good job, I think.
Hah, bet that dude didn’t expect the kick to the nuts.
I keep getting a mental image of you Karate Kid crane style, arms extended balancing your soda in the one hand and then kicking the dude in the nuts.
lol
Good for you! You merely did what many of us wish we could!
Well done.Good at multitasking I see.
soda in one hand,good strong kick with the foot in the other.Nobody seems to be grateful for what other people do for them.