Monkeychapps.com

The Internet’s secret shame

Sorry dude but when you wear pants like that you are inviting this kind of behavior.

I was at the mall the other day to buy some shoes at Macy’s. They were having a sale on Doc Martins and I have never found a better shoe that theirs. As I was checking out I saw a buddy of mine and we decided to head over to the food court for lunch. As we sat down I notice the table next to us was filled with 20 somethings wearing the usual stupid garb of the day, phat pants. You know what I mean, the pants that are 5 sizes to big, barely held up and 5 inches of boxers showing.

This kid turned his chair backwards and straddled it with his back towards us. There was a gap between were your pants stopped and your boxers took over, a kind of cloth backboard. I leaned over and asked my buddy if he had any change and pointed to you and I saw the light bulb flash.

We took turns tossing things into your saggy pants, you never noticed. We finished eating and moved a few tables away to watch you get up and five minutes later you did. As you arose you cinch up your pants thereby accelerating the process that I had hoped for. As you stood up 86 cents, 3 gum wrappers, a Macy’s coupon and a paper clip fell from your saggy pants. Everyone around you looked at you then the floor and laughed.

You looked a bit embarrassed but you made people laugh.

Isn’t that what clowns do?

Tweet This