Monkeychapps.com

The Internet’s secret shame

I don’t mean to be confrontational, but this is it: I’ve had it with you. You are so fickle. One second Wells Fargo tells me you’re there in hardy abundance and the next, without staying long enough for us to get to know each other, you’re gone. You used to be my friend: you’d pay my rent, we’d slowly work towards paying off debts, you even had reserves for a new car! But now, I can’t trust you. You’re here and then you’re gone. Oh, so I want some new shirts or maybe some xbox games–is that all it takes to make you disappear? You’re going to buy me some groceries and then you’re gone? What happened to commitment? You make me question myself…

You and I are in a bad relationship. I know, I abuse the privilege of sometimes having you around. I’m a dreamer and I often use you for personal acquisitions. I should appreciate you more and I will try to. But please, if you could just stay in my wallet long enough to conquer these student loans and hosting fees, we could build a great relationship. We could have a social life again–remember when you used to take me to dinner? Such good times, you and I… But you need to learn to grow. I need more of you and you’re not responding. I work so hard to have you in my very presence and you need to realize that you’re going to have be bigger. I need you in mass amounts. I’m begging for more of you. Can we please make this work?

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