Monkeychapps.com

The Internet’s secret shame

In case of zombie attack break glass

Filed Under (What fresh hell is this) by Monkee on 23-08-2008

I woke up this morning with the realization that I was woefully unprepared in the case of a zombie attack. What follows is the 3 step program that I prepared in the event you are attack by the undead horde.

Decapitation-

As we all know the only way to kill a zombie is to sever said zombie’s head. With that in mind I have lowered all of my ceiling fans to neck height.

Misdirection-

I have placed “Free Brains” sighs on all of my neighbors doors. I am not sure if zombies can read but if they can my hope is they will pass me by.

Appeasement-

I have posted a sign on my front door that lists directions to my local Walmart. I say that it is a store full of brains and is called Brainmart. This might seem cruel but lets face facts. Those people are already dead inside.

Feel free to implement this plan if you don’t already have one, unless you are my neighbor.

Tweet This

Read More

Comments:

4 Responses to “In case of zombie attack break glass”

1. Garg Unzola on 25 Aug 2008 at 3:12 pm #
   
   

   Zombie diplomacy.
2. cchiovitti on 14 Sep 2008 at 6:12 pm #
   
   

   I’ll go with the photo suggestion you have here. I have 4 evil kittens of terror that can definately annoy any zombies to death. Again.

   Just in case though, I’m going to stop bathing so the zombies will mistake me as one of their own.
3. Marc Silvis on 15 Sep 2008 at 12:46 pm #
   
   

   Thats the first blog that I ever read about zombies. Come to think of it I know a lot of zombies. In fact I think just about everyone I know are zomies. And do you know what, my parents and my brother and sister and all of our pets were zombies. And my Pastor and his wife are zombiist and he teaches zombiism. Everyone is a zombie and they all want to eat my brains AAAAAAAhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!
4. Monkee on 15 Sep 2008 at 12:47 pm #
   
   

   Dont be stupid!

   There is probably a few vampires in there.