Everything must go
Filed Under (Relationships and sexy time) by Monkee on 01-05-2008
Hurry, I’m lowering my standards faster than I can violate them.
Its a crazy blowout sale of hygiene/moral/personal or religious standards.
20 years older than me? Not a problem!
Morbidly(not just chubby) obese? Great!
Missing a few teeth? Who isn’t?
Sores and lesions? OK!
No job? You’re a free spirit baby!
Sit around all day watching TV? Broadening your horizons!
Schizophrenic/OCD/ just plane loco? I say crazy in the head crazy in the bed!
5 children from 6 guys? I know you’ll put out!
No social graces? Graces/smaces!
Sleep around? Hoo Raa
Never cook? Double Hoo Raa
Never clean? Awesome!
Break a sweet walking to the kitchen? Let me bring that big mac too you!
Ugly at a post? Beauty is only skin deep!
Use sex as a weapon? Gotta use what God gave you!
My place or yours?
The bonus is that I’m working perfecting my stalking skills too! Aren’t you the lucky fella…
Aww you want to stalk me
Yes. Yes, I do….
I am happy you don’t seem to have problem with it.
Though it might be more effective if you did - not to mention it’d be quite the ego boost for someone new to stalking….
Im counter stalking, I’m hiding in the bushes.
This is the beginning of something beautiful….creepy but beautiful…
That was you in the bushes? Oops. Sorry about the hedge-trimmer…