Disabilities? No uber-abilities! part 1
Filed Under (The human condition) by Monkee on 07-06-2008
Gentle reader,
I had a life altering injury when I was a teen that left me with a few limitations and injuries that still remain. People say “AWW that’s awful, you are so brave/accomplished/sexyâ€. Well the sexy thing I made up but I say don’t feel sorry for me. Nay rejoice! My limitations have opened my eyes to a brand new world. Now I’m not gonna get all “My left foot†on ya and pretend that I have used my injuries to do some great feat that inspires others. No I just have a real good time with the way in which people are assholes and alternatively dumb at the say time.
It never ceases to amaze me how rude, dense and sometimes how conversely nice some people can be. In following, the people I speak of are in the former categories. They were already deemed asses and as such not deserving of my respect. Besides I would never insult a truly nice person, they are too hard to find.
So, with that said, enjoy.
I am at work and in the men’s bathroom doing my thing. Eyes straight forward as not too attract attention(see past posts about bathroom rules). A coworker enters, a guy that I have never met and says “did you know that you have a big scar on the back of your head� I kinda froze, I wasn’t sure what to do. Went back to my desk a bit down and a buddy asked me why I was down. I told him and as I recounted the story I stared to get riled. I told my buddy that I don’t even know the guys name and thought it was beyond what could be considered a dumb comment. He agreed, said he knew of the guy and gave me his name. I sat there and thought about egging his car, breaking his nose, punching him in the throat. No I handled this monkee style. I picked up the phone and pressed *818, the code to talk over the pa system address the whole office of 112 people.
“Yes hello coworkers, I would just like to say thank you to David Smith for walking up to me in the restroom earlier and asking me if I knew I had a 6 inch scar on the back of my head. Up till this moment I had not, and if not for the brave words of David Smith I still might not be aware. Lets all give a round of applause for his great detective work and I would like to say that you should all make a point of going up to David’s desk as much as possible today to thank him, he might seem shy at first but keep trying. In fact if you have a fear that you might have scars, moles or any skin anomalies please ask David. Also please email all of your friends with Davids email address and ask them to flood Davids email inbox. Thank youâ€.
Needless to say I was suspended for a week, with pay. When I came back ,from my week-long vacation, David was gone and I was told that after two days of people haranguing him he just walked out the door.
So thank you David for the week of paid vacation!
This is my first of many posts about my uber-abilities.
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[...] Autism Vox wrote an interesting post today onHere’s a quick excerpt Gentle reader, I had a life altering injury when I was a teen that left me with a few limitations and injuries that still remain. People say “AWW that’s awful, you are so brave/accomplished/sexyâ€. Well the sexy thing I made up but I say don’t feel sorry for me. Nay rejoice! My limitations have opened my eyes to a brand new world. Now I’m not gonna get all “My left foot†on ya and pretend that I have used my injuries to do some great feat that inspires others. No I just have a real good time wi [...]
That is not showy or impressive in any way. In fact, it is and exercise in becoming the same kind of asshole that you don’t have any respect for. Yeah, I realize that people say retarded things but you don’t have to be a dick about it.
Sorry. Did I hurt your feelers?
Uh, so, Patrick, what was he supposed to do? Sit there and take it? Not do anything about it?
I think it was F-ing hilarious what Monkee did, and I applaud him. I hate all forms of jackassery, and this was pretty damn funny.
jackassery is so my new word!
Let the avatars invade. I wonder where monkee’s is. Maybe somebody needs to review their gravatar account. But nonetheless, here’s mine
Way to GO. HA ha ha. I am a 100% Disabled USAF Veteran and i know exactly how you feel. I LOVE to get ALL DRESSED UP in my Harley Biker Leathers and ride a Silver Bicycle around town. HA ha…
I really do agree with Patrick here. The guy might be an idiot, but it’s not as if he pushed you into the urinal and said it. You overreacted just a little bit on that one. It ended up getting you suspended and getting David bullied and pressured out of work.
He could have just apologized to you and had a sense of humor about it all.
I think you should have acted shocked when he told you: “OH MY GOD! WHAT? A SCAR?? How did THAT get there?!”
Oddly enough in the last 10 years I have heard that 100 times, people are just amazingly crude
Well done! No matter what your detractors say, what you did was a long over-due lesson for that asshole. Maybe he will think before he gets the urge to try something like that again. Some people see scars and disabilities as a free invitation to treat people as somehow “less than.” On the contrary, it denotes people of exceptional character, proven and tested…Unbroken. When people first see my prominent facial scar (over my temple) I get typically one of two reactions. Some people fear me as being potentially violent and possibly “not quite right in the head.” Others obviously think that brain injury = brain damage = diminished capacity. The first group’s assumption is only correct when I am confronted by the second group who have no idea how lucky they are that my impulse control remains intact.
“When did we, as a people, start thinking it was ok to go around saying or doing hurtful and insensitive things? I guess it was around the time people like you starting excusing bad behavior.”
So your hurtful and insensitive doings started becoming praised when? When his one-time comment got the best of your temper? Jesus, you act as if he did a hate crime! He was rude, but your actions were horrible.
I bet you are a liberal. I love how you decry my reaction to his comment and in the same breath slip in “one-time” as to lessen his comments severity.
The guy was being a douchebag, but so were you. It’s true, too: his offense happened only once (if it was more than once, please tell me), whereas your actions hit him over and over (”…ask them to flood Davids email inbox”).
I don’t think you get it and I understand that. I don’t share this to gain sympathy but his comment wasn’t ” your shirt is lame” it was made expressly to make me feel bad about myself so he could feel better about himself. I have many other physical ailments that would let a reasonable person know that I struggled just to be able to walk again. I cant believe that you are insensitive enough to find fault and place blame rather than offer some constructive criticism or ask kindly if I might have handled it differently.
I don’t know you physically or mentally enough to make an accurate statement to you, I merely comment against your rendition of the story. However, I find that your words are very ironic and hypocritical. You tell me that I place blame instead of constructive criticism, yet that is exactly what you did.
Really, though, I mean no offense in what I write.
Thats ok, I just wanted to make you back peddle.
I win.
Hahahahahaha
monkee owns!
Found you through stumbleupon.
If I was your boss I would have fired you for actually unprofessionally.
Now you can try and be a smart ass all you want in reply. I hope it makes you feel great.
Ok, I will. But tomorrow, gotta go to bed. Night
Funny, but a bit of an overreaction to tell you the truth.
People do say stupid things. Though, I feel that you over-reacted. I doubt he even knew that he had said anything wrong. Being dense is not the same as being mean. It doesn’t matter what kind of physical ailments you have, your brain is the one that made this bad decision. You turned a one-on-one event into a horrible tirade of humiliation for some poor fellow.
Seriously, how do you expect people to know how you feel? They haven’t been through your life experiences. Their brains don’t work the same way because of that.
There’s no winner here. Both people lost.
nice way to squelch such fuckery… I hate fuckery… and the fucks that partake.
great stuff
@ E.Michael
“There’s no winner here. Both people lost.”
WTF? I appreciate that you took the time to reply, having said that I cant believe you are such a pussy! I try to be a nice person but I have my limits, I apologize if I didn’t make it clear that his comment was snide, snarky (and if you’ll forgive the alliteration) stupid.
I should be lauded for teaching him an important lesion, that ones actions have consequences.
Well, now you’re just a douchebag. You can’t expect pity from others (because that’s really what you seem to be looking for) if you’re just as hurtful as the idiots who make fun of you.
I’m just saying that “being a nice person” isn’t something you have to try for. It’s a mindset, not a chore.
You either are or you aren’t… and you aren’t.
That’s fine, the world needs all kinds of people, and it’s the snappier ones like yourself that make life funny.
Ahh, but it is! To strive to be a better person is what self-awareness is all about. Your argument is a fundamentally incorrect one. Assuming that free will and choice have nothing to do with ones behavior.
@y4Kman
I knew than if I argued with you long enough you’d start calling names. You need to re-enforce your argument not raise your voice.
i thought we’d argued enough that I’d brought my point across. I was just reinforcing my opinion due to your reply to E. Michael Martin’s post. You never really explained why you called him a pussy, anyways.
You say my argument is flawed because you don’t understand it. Just because one doesn’t understand a concept does not make it wrong.
I’ll try to explain:
You are approaching your “enlightenment” one step at a time, focusing on actions (obviously, this action was not thought out). You should be focusing on controlling your emotions. The action you took was out of anger, and the action you took was swift and vile retribution. You did not improve the world by humiliating and annoying that fellow, you simply added more bad emotions into the mix.
The reason you don’t understand is because you are centered on yourself and your own pain. That is not the hallmark of a nice person.
As they say, the first step to solving your problems is admitting you have them.
I knew if I lead you enough youdd get all Oprah on me and spew your psychobabble.
Thank you and I accept your apology.
I guess you know everything. Have a great life!
You’re right. It’s wrong to argue with someone who is mentally and physically challenged. I’m sorry. You have my pity, you win.
Ahh, the back handed insult! I thought you were above that.
I stumbled here and am enjoying your writings.
Obviously some people here don’t understand what it is to live with disabilities and how much other people can be cruel about it. Even the nicest person in the world is going to eventually get fed up and strike back. Especially when the offender is deliberately being an ass.
So while your reaction may have been a bit excessive, it is completely understandable.
Not being in the bathroom at the time, I don’t know the tone of the insensitive comment, but it seems that the guy who made the comment was probably uncomfortable when he saw the scar and put his foot in his mouth out of that discomfort rather than to insult or hurt Monkey’s feelings or make him feel bad about himself.
Was he trying to make a (stupid and un-funny) joke?
why not just say nothing
“why not just say nothing”
I guess because I think that trying to understand why people say hurtful things is a good way to begin to educate them about how they affect other people.
Your story was funny. You painted a picture in my mind of a cubicle mass movement against the comment maker as you embarrassed him over the PA system. The problem is, you interpreted his comment as aggressive and aimed at hurting you which I’m not sure it was based on your description. You still have not said why you think the comment “… was made expressly to make me feel bad about myself so he could feel better about himself.”?
If that is true (and it certainly might be, you just didn’t describe it well enough to get that point across) then a one-on-one comment to him such as, “Yeah, whatever your name is, I have a fucking scar on my head because of the brain surgery I had after being taken hostage and shot by my deranged father-in-law. Do you want to see my colostomy bag too?”
Since, in my experience, most stupid comments are made out of ignorance and insecurity a direct response such as, “I know I have a scar and I don’t appreciate you talking about it since you don’t know me or anything about me.” would probably have gotten the point across… but it wouldn’t have made such a funny blog post.
Also, you didn’t answer the question about whether you think he was trying to be funny or not.
You should’ve taken your own advice.
You should have taken an anti pussy pill
@phil
I dont know if he was trying to be funny or not. I guess everyone has a limit, mine is 2003 stupid comments.
He was 2004