Monkeychapps.com

The Internet’s secret shame

Disabilities? No uber-abilities! part 2
Posted by Monkee | on June 8, 2008 | category: Random! |

“You are left handed too, cool”!

That’s what I hear as often as “your handwriting is horrible”. I was born right handed but because of nerve damage I had to learn to use my left and thus my handwriting is not great. Very legible but not great.

Most people are very impressed that I can even write with the left and unbeknown to me there seems to be a super secret club for left handers. They will come up to me and ,with a wink , laud my south-pawery. They were born left handed and I chose to be left handed. I’m like their right hemisphere of the brain golden child. It’s not like I can read minds or bend spoons.

The one time that my explanation seemed to not help was the time I was helping a customer fill out some paperwork. She was a nice young lady who seemed to have had a bad day and was very curt and bordered on rude. I filled out a few pieces of the paperwork and she exclaimed “I cant read that”. I told her the paperwork was for internal use and the folks doing data entry for me could read it just fine. She was still upset and I was wondering why she was getting all worked up over a small, insignificant thing. After reassuring her for the 3rd and 4th times I asked if she would like me to get someone else to fill out the papers. She said no and she wished I could write better.

Dear reader, please understand that I try to be nice and understanding but there is a point at which I lose control.

I turned the papers toward her and asked if she’d like to fill these out but she would have to do it with her non-dominant hand. She gave it the old college try and found her print to be completely useless. Couldn’t read it. That’s coming from me that has to read my poor hand writing all the time and I’m like a bad hand writing code breaker.

She looked up at me and said “I’m sorry, I just had a bad day and I guess I kinda took it out on you”. I told her I knew it was something like that and I fully understood. We concluded our business and she apologized profusely again. I told her I completely understand and it was ok. She pulled her business card out and said she sold houses and if I ever wanted to discuss the market to call her. I thought this was odd as I wasn’t in the market for a house when she started writing her home phone number on the back of the card. I’m a little thick but I understood that she was using this as a way to slip me the digits, you are a sly boots indeed. I looked at the card, thanked her and with a loud voice exclaimed ” your handwriting sucks! It’s like you thought of all the ways in which you could make this unreadable. This looks like Egyptian hieroglyphics written by a retarded monkey”.

She laughed, I laughed. I called, we went out and as it turns out she wasn’t just having a bad day.

She really is a bitch.

Monkee out