The mating rituals of star wars geeks
Filed Under (Relationships and sexy time) by Monkee on 21-09-2008
In my long search to entertain America (mostly the 7 readers here, Hi mom) I have devised a first date ritual that may not only impress the ladies but bewilder and confuse them at the same time. I don’t know why I think that ladies want to be bewildered but a true Star Wars chick cant help but be impressed by this(my Monte Python idea went down in flames).
The rules are very simple, you can only respond to here by using lines from Star Wars(from the 80’s, the new ones are awful but use what you can).
Her-  Thank you for taking me to a nice restaurant I’m a bit upset that you are late.
You- I can feel your anger… it gives you focus, it makes you stronger!
Her- I fear that I don’t get your meaning but thank you for acknowledging that.
You- Fear is the path to the Dark Side. Fear leads to anger; anger leads to hate; hate leads to suffering.
Her- OK, but I’m not really angry.
You- Anger, fear, aggression… the dark side are they. Once you start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny.
Her- Ok then. This is a nice place hope its not too spendy.
You- If money is all you love, then that’s what you’ll receive.
Her- Again not what I was saying, I just was it was a nice place. Err hmm…… You look nice!
You- When 900 years you reach, look as good, you will not.
Her-Â So umm, what are your thought about the election?
You- All who gain power are afraid to lose it, even the Jedi.
Her - I guess that’s true, so you like Star Wars I take it.Would you like to be a Jedi or something?
You- The circle is now complete. When I left you I was but the learner, now I am the master.
Her- Now you’re just freaking me out, I have to go.
You- I think my eyes are getting better. Instead of a big dark blur, I see a big light blur. Look, Your Worshipfulness, let’s get one thing straight! I take orders from one person! Me!
From there it usually devolves into a shouting match and some state authorities are called. If all else fails tell her that you can make the kessel run in three parsecs.
If you find the right girl this tactic is magic, magic I say.





